This whole city's a bad soap opera, I can't help it.

[SHE'S DRUNK AND MELODRAMATIC OKAY, LET HER LIVE!! But with that, BOTTOMS UP. She definitely slams her shot glass back down on the counter too hard, but nothing breaks so it's fine right???? Right.]

Shit though, I forgot you're even taken. Am I supposed to ask how that's going? [TRULY, THIS IS WHAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP CONSISTS OF, ASKING IF NORMAL NICETIES ARE APPROPRIATE.]