"rose you could get a much better job if you just tried" "rose when are you going to move out of that dump of an apartment" "rose why didn't you answer the voice mail i left you" "rose don't bother showing up we don't need you here"
[She's not surprised Jasmine doesn't remember. After the adoption attempt fell through, the next year felt like nothing but fights with her. Why bother showing up to their sister's birthday get-together at the orphanage when Rose was free from all of them, right? It's hard to think of a single time she saw Jasmine during that period that didn't end in some nasty words exchanged, and she remembers every single one.
That was probably the worst year of her life. Worse than watching her mom leave her forever, worse than seeing her family from behind bars.
But she doesn't bother to correct her. It's not like she was wrong, after all.]
[She thinks of it all the time, of course, and something tells her Rose probably does too. It's low-hanging fruit, but Jasmine certainly reaches for it.]
[Anything that makes her look like the bad guy, right? It's not like she blames her for that, and honestly, it's easier to embrace that than not. But god does it get tiring sometimes.]
but sure, fine whatever makes you feel better about yourself
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"rose you could get a much better job if you just tried"
"rose when are you going to move out of that dump of an apartment"
"rose why didn't you answer the voice mail i left you"
"rose don't bother showing up we don't need you here"
it just never ends
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[Rose probably never enjoyed her company, she just couldn't push away a child.]
There's no need to put words in my mouth. I never said something like the last one.
[Right...? Had she gotten so angry once that she did? Did she mean it? She pauses before she hits send.]
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That was probably the worst year of her life. Worse than watching her mom leave her forever, worse than seeing her family from behind bars.
But she doesn't bother to correct her. It's not like she was wrong, after all.]
you thought about it, i'm sure
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As much as she'd like to say she's better at managing that now, it's always been like that. It's always been hard to control.]
You got out, so I never understood why you'd want to come back and subject yourself to that again.
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you guys were worth it
[She thinks it's obvious, even if she has a hard time admitting it face-to-face and with Jasmine in particular. But maybe not, if she's asking her.]
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Yeah, we were. Too bad.
Things were different after that.
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[In the end, it's always easier to fall back on irritation and pick fights than anything else.]
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[She thinks of it all the time, of course, and something tells her Rose probably does too. It's low-hanging fruit, but Jasmine certainly reaches for it.]
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[Mostly true. Unfortunately, it's only true except with regards to mistakes about Rose, to Rose, that vindicate Rose...]
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[Anything that makes her look like the bad guy, right? It's not like she blames her for that, and honestly, it's easier to embrace that than not. But god does it get tiring sometimes.]
but sure, fine
whatever makes you feel better about yourself
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You know, if you'd just lay off it for once we could try and find you a better coping mechanism.
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maybe then we could actually talk