Do you think we're going to grow out of being a family? My admiration isn't limited to one person, but the reason I admire you is different from why I admire others.
[There's another long delay before her reply. She even thinks about just not replying, but before she knows it she presses send.]
it still wasn't enough
[According to Jasmine, anyways. But honestly? Rose agrees with her. She did all she could, but in the end, she still couldn't even get any of them out of the orphanage.]
The system is broken. Don't blame yourself for that. You tried your best, which is more than I can say about all those people who decided against adopting any of us.
[ They've all been through their fair share of foster homes and false hopes of being adopted, but they always came back to their found family. That's what matters the most to Clover.
Their found family loved her when no one else would, when no one else did. ]
[Which is objectively untrue, but old habits die hard. What else were you supposed to tell your little sisters when everyone else seemed to get adopted except them? There was only so much she could do. And maybe that's the point, which she accepts in some sense.
Still, it'll always be hard to feel like she did enough. "There was only so much she could do," and the like feel like excuses sometimes.]
where did all of this come from anyways tho
[EXTREMELY SUBTLE CHANGE IN TOPICS because aside from Clover somehow admiring her, this sure was a random text to get.]
[ In the end, they didn't need to be adopted. They could've grown up worse. Whatever family that did adopt them could've turned out to be awful, wretched, and wouldn't be as loving as the people she considers siblings. That's what Clover told herself. That's what Clover still tells herself. ]
I tell you that I love you but I don't as often tell you I admire you. I thought that should be changed.
[It's embarrassing how much it means to her to hear Clover say that when she doesn't even think she deserves it. It's embarrassing how much she wishes all her sisters might say that even when she knows that's impossible.
Naturally though, she'd rather die than admit any of that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[SHE'S SO LOST. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM. WHY WOULD CLOVER THINK ANY OF THAT ABOUT HER.]
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you should pick someone else to admire
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It's not something I'll stop.
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you don't have to pick just one person but
i think we both know there are better role models out there than me
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you already know the answer to those
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That's why I admire you. You did all you could for our family, and that's admirable.
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it still wasn't enough
[According to Jasmine, anyways. But honestly? Rose agrees with her. She did all she could, but in the end, she still couldn't even get any of them out of the orphanage.]
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[ They've all been through their fair share of foster homes and false hopes of being adopted, but they always came back to their found family. That's what matters the most to Clover.
Their found family loved her when no one else would, when no one else did. ]
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[Which is objectively untrue, but old habits die hard. What else were you supposed to tell your little sisters when everyone else seemed to get adopted except them? There was only so much she could do. And maybe that's the point, which she accepts in some sense.
Still, it'll always be hard to feel like she did enough. "There was only so much she could do," and the like feel like excuses sometimes.]
where did all of this come from anyways tho
[EXTREMELY SUBTLE CHANGE IN TOPICS because aside from Clover somehow admiring her, this sure was a random text to get.]
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I tell you that I love you but I don't as often tell you I admire you. I thought that should be changed.
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[Rose can only take so much genuine affection in one sitting, please, be considerate about this Clover!!]
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It won't hurt you, Rose.
[ She is being considerate. Just not in the way Rose wants. ]
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[Will Rose ever be able to accept a compliment or genuine affection like a normal person?? Truly a mystery of the world.]
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Why does openly saying you care give you so much discomfort?
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Naturally though, she'd rather die than admit any of that.]
it's nothing
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[ Rose and Jasmine think they're so different from each other, but in choosing not to tell Clover things, they're very similar. ]
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I'll talk to you later. I love you.
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love you too