[Anna's got a hand full of craft beer, a chest full of wires, and a head full of problems, but even on this chilly Thanksgiving eve she's not gonna miss her best friend's birthday. knock knock, bitch.]
It's me!
[she speaks up through the door just in case Rose wasn't expecting visitors. who the hell even visits Rose on the reg anyway? hell, it's been a while since Anna's visited her at home.]
[Guess who wasn't expecting any visitors today, especially because they didn't even realize it was their birthday!! Especially with the kind of solicitors Rose gets in this sketchy, shady apartment complex, she's content to ignore the knocking until she hears Anna's voice. She doesn't call back, but it doesn't take long for Rose to open the door, clad in sweats and a cup ramen in hand.
Basically, she looks like shit.]
Hey. [She doesn't bother hiding the confusion in her tone, and when she looks down at the beer, it's all over her face, too.] What's up?
[nope, she still looks great, just ask the chart, it can't lie. Anna can't say she blames Rose for this reaction, though—been pretty hectic for a while. but at least this month isn't as brutal as last month, and maybe they deserve some more time off together.]
Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday. [she's smirking. yeah, she totally did, didn't she?] Got some app shit I wanted to tell you about, but most of my plans were drinking with you. Hope I'm not interrupting.
Oh. Shit, man. [That gets a laugh out of her. Her birthday's never been that important to her, but she's never been so out of it as to completely forget about it.] I guess I did.
The only thing you're interrupting is a cup ramen dinner and passing out on the couch. Come on in.
[She'll move aside so Anna can step in. Her place is as much of a dump as ever, but she's sure Anna wouldn't expect anything less.]
So what's the app up to this time? I'm assuming it's something shitty.
[she'd be more weirded out if Rose actually kept her shit together, physically or otherwise. it feels way more familiar like this. she steps inside, suddenly wishing she'd actually brought some food with her too, but the beer will have to do. not like she'll be partaking in much.]
I don't even know if it's the kind of thing you should be sitting down for anymore. [given what they've each been through, she has. no perspective. it's great! she might as well just get it out there as soon as she's inside and the door's closed, though.] But long story short, they took my fucking heart.
[There's a long, heavy silence when Rose gapes and stares and wonders because what the fuck. It only breaks thanks to her nearly dropping her food in surprise, but she already looks like enough of an idiot after forgetting it was her birthday, she's not keen on tacking that on too.]
Literally, you're talking, like. Literally. [It's not the most tactful question to ask, but after what she's seen she can only blurt out:] You're not dead, are you?
[The fact that Zero was an actual walking zombie has been on her mind more often than late, and yeah Anna's situation is different than hers, but it's not like she knows how any of this works to begin with. If Anna doesn't have a heart, how is she standing here?]
[Anna's... really glad that this is the reaction, actually. Kara helped her out when the apparent heart attack hit her, but she was calm and rational and smart about it, and it feels that, like... it feels like Anna never got the same shock from anyone else. she brushes her bangs out of her eyes with her free hand and doesn't try to adjust them when they almost immediately fall back into place.]
I woke up a couple weeks ago in the middle of the night and I was... convinced I was dying. But now I just... [her shoulders slump a little. it's hard to say out loud, so maybe she should just do it. Rose isn't shy about her shit with Anna.] I just have some robot shit in there. I don't bleed anymore, either. I'm still alive, but I don't know if I should be.
[she just has to take the fact that she is at face value. all her other organs are basically still doing okay in there, right?]
[You and me both. The thought crosses her mind, but that's not really helpful for either of them right now.]
So it just... Happened all of a sudden. Lost your heart and got it replaced with robot shit. [It shouldn't really make sense to her, but given her own experience with losing her eyes, it lines up at least.] Well, it's not like anything here's made any sense in months. If you're alive, you're alive, and I'll take that.
[Since the alternative is—unacceptable, to say the least.]
Yeah. I'm still alive and I'm gonna make that everyone else's problem.
[she can only manage a weak grin, but it's better than nothing. and she lifts the six-pack and tilts her head towards it.]
Means I'm drinking this shit for the taste now, though. No blood means no BAC. Guess that's one way to force me to get clean. [it's fine. she takes one of the bottles and hands it over by the neck.]
Don't be shocked if I start hitting the gym again. Gotta find some other way to cope.
I can't believe I'm even saying this, but that's probably for the best. The amount I actually have to drink now just to feel anything would probably kill me five times over if I could actually die. It's definitely putting me into debt.
[Healthy coping mechanisms as always! But she grabs the bottle and takes a swig like a normal person.]
Going back to the gym though? As if you didn't kick enough ass as is.
[two regular, normal, healthy people. that's them. no two more normal people in the city! Anna's gonna try her hardest not to, like. focus on the depressing shit. not because she's ignoring it, but because it's probably better for Rose to focus on what nice things she can.]
Please. You keep saying all this nice shit about me and my dumb ass is gonna think you wanna get back together. [she's smirking, though; no matter how self-deprecating she gets, she knows where they stand and she'd never be that dumb.]
And I can think of another robot chick around here who'd probably be pretty bummed if I got taken off the market like that.
Oh yeah? So what's going on in your market these days anyways?
[She remembers Anna dating someone else—Astin, was it?—but refrains from asking. Maybe they just didn't work out, or maybe Astin fell off the app as so many do. It's lighter conversation to just phrase it like this, and as always, they could do with some lighter conversation.]
Right, yeah, okay. [oof. strap in.] So during those weird-ass two months that, like, only a few people remember everything about, I guess Annalise wasn't into the idea of dating anyone. [or doing fuckin' anything.] So from Astin's perspective, the chick they liked just wasn't there anymore.
[she shakes her head, tries not to look too exasperated, and ends up briefly looking off to the side while she collects her thoughts. then it's back to Rose.]
They were off the app by the time I got back to normal anyway, but I'm pretty sure they fell off around the same time Annalise showed up. So that's not a thing anymore, which rules. [nah, she's not bitter. perish the fucking thought.] Anyway. There's this other girl, Lillian? She's turning into a robot, too. We're kind of getting close, but, like, fuck, you know how I am with closeness.
[sigh. yeah, she fucking sucks at it unless it's been nearly a decade in the making.] Anyway. That's my market. You got anything interesting going on there?
Guess if anyone would know what it's like to turn into a robot, it'd be someone who's experiencing it, too. [She shakes her head.] Sorry to hear about all that though, honest. It sounds fucking wild, but I guess it's hard to find anything here that isn't these days.
[But at the question being turned to her, she simply shrugs.] Eh, same old. Keeping it simple with one night stands or friends-with-benefits. Some of them actually used to be on the app, but—
[She shrugs again, but this time, it's a little more defensive. A little lonely.]
Whatever. Makes it even easier to keep things no-strings-attached and all.
[sure as fuck is. but she regards Rose carefully, and considers her own words, too, even though she's getting kind of a wild idea that might not go over great. but Rose isn't... well, she's probably not doing well? like, fuck. losing more and more people like that. if she hadn't known Rose for so long, she'd keep her stupid fucking mouth shut, but here goes.]
Listen, like. If you ever wanna do anything again, I'd be down. Just to help shit suck a little less, you know? [great! cool! it's even worse coming out of her mouth than it was in her head!] Probably easier to handle my dumb ass than some rando that you gotta explain all kinds of crap to.
Anna. [It's a tone of mock outrage, joking, but there's a quiet shakiness to her voice she can't brush off either.] If I didn't know better, I'd think you were offering me birthday sex.
[And now she should laugh and let the joke end there, but. It'd be nice, wouldn't it? To just. Let loose and not have to think for a bit, no matter how brief it is. Sometimes it feels like the only time her head isn't caving in is when she's sleeping, and even that's not guaranteed. Half the time sleep just means nightmares.
But she takes a bracing swig of her beer, even if it doesn't do shit for her, just to pretend it does something to bolster her courage so she can get through her words without chickening out.]
Thanks. I mean it, seriously. And I'd be down, but... I wouldn't wanna fuck it up, y'know? [She swallows.] Because if I fucked up with you again, I'd be—
[Alone. And maybe that wouldn't even be true, but it'd feel like it, and that would be enough.]
[okay, well. Anna could protest, she could say that yeah, maybe she was totally offering birthday sex, and she could ask what Rose could possibly do to fuck it up, but there's... more to it than that, and even emotionally idiotic Anna, the girl who's turning into a fucking robot who as far as she knows couldn't emote worth a damn if her life depended on it, even she can tell that much.]
A grown adult who makes mistakes? We're not the same people we used to be. [and she almost scoffs at herself. ain't that the fuckin' truth.] Don't get me wrong, I get you, I'm just saying. This time of year always gets me in a weird place. [from Rose's birthday through Christmas and into the first week of January. maybe it's the depression.]
I start feeling all sentimental and shit, and then I come over here and think about all the shit happening to you and it hits me right here. [she points at her chest, where her heart would be, and lets her voice soften a little.] You already fucked me up forever anyway. Got me worried about someone.
Sorry about that. [Is she joking, or is she serious? It's hard to tell.] The holidays are supposed to be all holly and jolly and shit, but somehow it always manages to kick our asses anyways.
[She pauses as she thinks. It's her birthday after all, right? Aren't they supposed to be avoiding their issues for just one day?] I'll think about it, yeah? Can't really say for sure either way right now, but I guess if you start getting 3am DTF texts again, you know it's just me.
[they're adults. they can avoid their issues for as long as they have to. Anna grins, thinking about the last time Rose sent her texts like those.]
Please. You think my phone's blowing up with fuckboys whispering "what you doing?" in my ear? [and now she actually scoffs.] You have the highest opinion of me and I'm still never gonna get it. But whatever. I just wanna make sure you have a decent birthday, holly jolly shit or otherwise.
[and the grin goes smug.] Little early in the year to crack into the Ovaltine, though.
[god, that laugh is cute and she's never gonna stop thinking it is. fuck.]
Maybe I'll stop being a mopey bitch this year and actually wa—[and she cuts herself off with a laugh just at the idea.] Hit me with one of those 3AM DTF texts except it's down to watch A Christmas Story.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
11/21
It's me!
[she speaks up through the door just in case Rose wasn't expecting visitors. who the hell even visits Rose on the reg anyway? hell, it's been a while since Anna's visited her at home.]
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Basically, she looks like shit.]
Hey. [She doesn't bother hiding the confusion in her tone, and when she looks down at the beer, it's all over her face, too.] What's up?
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Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday. [she's smirking. yeah, she totally did, didn't she?] Got some app shit I wanted to tell you about, but most of my plans were drinking with you. Hope I'm not interrupting.
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The only thing you're interrupting is a cup ramen dinner and passing out on the couch. Come on in.
[She'll move aside so Anna can step in. Her place is as much of a dump as ever, but she's sure Anna wouldn't expect anything less.]
So what's the app up to this time? I'm assuming it's something shitty.
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I don't even know if it's the kind of thing you should be sitting down for anymore. [given what they've each been through, she has. no perspective. it's great! she might as well just get it out there as soon as she's inside and the door's closed, though.] But long story short, they took my fucking heart.
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Literally, you're talking, like. Literally. [It's not the most tactful question to ask, but after what she's seen she can only blurt out:] You're not dead, are you?
[The fact that Zero was an actual walking zombie has been on her mind more often than late, and yeah Anna's situation is different than hers, but it's not like she knows how any of this works to begin with. If Anna doesn't have a heart, how is she standing here?]
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[Anna's... really glad that this is the reaction, actually. Kara helped her out when the apparent heart attack hit her, but she was calm and rational and smart about it, and it feels that, like... it feels like Anna never got the same shock from anyone else. she brushes her bangs out of her eyes with her free hand and doesn't try to adjust them when they almost immediately fall back into place.]
I woke up a couple weeks ago in the middle of the night and I was... convinced I was dying. But now I just... [her shoulders slump a little. it's hard to say out loud, so maybe she should just do it. Rose isn't shy about her shit with Anna.] I just have some robot shit in there. I don't bleed anymore, either. I'm still alive, but I don't know if I should be.
[she just has to take the fact that she is at face value. all her other organs are basically still doing okay in there, right?]
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So it just... Happened all of a sudden. Lost your heart and got it replaced with robot shit. [It shouldn't really make sense to her, but given her own experience with losing her eyes, it lines up at least.] Well, it's not like anything here's made any sense in months. If you're alive, you're alive, and I'll take that.
[Since the alternative is—unacceptable, to say the least.]
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[she can only manage a weak grin, but it's better than nothing. and she lifts the six-pack and tilts her head towards it.]
Means I'm drinking this shit for the taste now, though. No blood means no BAC. Guess that's one way to force me to get clean. [it's fine. she takes one of the bottles and hands it over by the neck.]
Don't be shocked if I start hitting the gym again. Gotta find some other way to cope.
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[Healthy coping mechanisms as always! But she grabs the bottle and takes a swig like a normal person.]
Going back to the gym though? As if you didn't kick enough ass as is.
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Please. You keep saying all this nice shit about me and my dumb ass is gonna think you wanna get back together. [she's smirking, though; no matter how self-deprecating she gets, she knows where they stand and she'd never be that dumb.]
And I can think of another robot chick around here who'd probably be pretty bummed if I got taken off the market like that.
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[She remembers Anna dating someone else—Astin, was it?—but refrains from asking. Maybe they just didn't work out, or maybe Astin fell off the app as so many do. It's lighter conversation to just phrase it like this, and as always, they could do with some lighter conversation.]
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[she shakes her head, tries not to look too exasperated, and ends up briefly looking off to the side while she collects her thoughts. then it's back to Rose.]
They were off the app by the time I got back to normal anyway, but I'm pretty sure they fell off around the same time Annalise showed up. So that's not a thing anymore, which rules. [nah, she's not bitter. perish the fucking thought.] Anyway. There's this other girl, Lillian? She's turning into a robot, too. We're kind of getting close, but, like, fuck, you know how I am with closeness.
[sigh. yeah, she fucking sucks at it unless it's been nearly a decade in the making.] Anyway. That's my market. You got anything interesting going on there?
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[But at the question being turned to her, she simply shrugs.] Eh, same old. Keeping it simple with one night stands or friends-with-benefits. Some of them actually used to be on the app, but—
[She shrugs again, but this time, it's a little more defensive. A little lonely.]
Whatever. Makes it even easier to keep things no-strings-attached and all.
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Listen, like. If you ever wanna do anything again, I'd be down. Just to help shit suck a little less, you know? [great! cool! it's even worse coming out of her mouth than it was in her head!] Probably easier to handle my dumb ass than some rando that you gotta explain all kinds of crap to.
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[And now she should laugh and let the joke end there, but. It'd be nice, wouldn't it? To just. Let loose and not have to think for a bit, no matter how brief it is. Sometimes it feels like the only time her head isn't caving in is when she's sleeping, and even that's not guaranteed. Half the time sleep just means nightmares.
But she takes a bracing swig of her beer, even if it doesn't do shit for her, just to pretend it does something to bolster her courage so she can get through her words without chickening out.]
Thanks. I mean it, seriously. And I'd be down, but... I wouldn't wanna fuck it up, y'know? [She swallows.] Because if I fucked up with you again, I'd be—
[Alone. And maybe that wouldn't even be true, but it'd feel like it, and that would be enough.]
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A grown adult who makes mistakes? We're not the same people we used to be. [and she almost scoffs at herself. ain't that the fuckin' truth.] Don't get me wrong, I get you, I'm just saying. This time of year always gets me in a weird place. [from Rose's birthday through Christmas and into the first week of January. maybe it's the depression.]
I start feeling all sentimental and shit, and then I come over here and think about all the shit happening to you and it hits me right here. [she points at her chest, where her heart would be, and lets her voice soften a little.] You already fucked me up forever anyway. Got me worried about someone.
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Sorry about that. [Is she joking, or is she serious? It's hard to tell.] The holidays are supposed to be all holly and jolly and shit, but somehow it always manages to kick our asses anyways.
[She pauses as she thinks. It's her birthday after all, right? Aren't they supposed to be avoiding their issues for just one day?] I'll think about it, yeah? Can't really say for sure either way right now, but I guess if you start getting 3am DTF texts again, you know it's just me.
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Please. You think my phone's blowing up with fuckboys whispering "what you doing?" in my ear? [and now she actually scoffs.] You have the highest opinion of me and I'm still never gonna get it. But whatever. I just wanna make sure you have a decent birthday, holly jolly shit or otherwise.
[and the grin goes smug.] Little early in the year to crack into the Ovaltine, though.
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A bit early right now, yeah, but I think as soon as December hits I'm snagging some Ovaltine in preparation for the greatest day of the year.
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Maybe I'll stop being a mopey bitch this year and actually wa—[and she cuts herself off with a laugh just at the idea.] Hit me with one of those 3AM DTF texts except it's down to watch A Christmas Story.