[ . . . . . he did want that, but he's just going to drink just as much of her AMF in exchange.
That's so much liquor oh god, he normally doesn't do drunk in public but here he is. Though at that, he laughs, because Baren's sense of humor is fucking shit and - ]
Hey, it's worked out decently for both of us so far. [BEING HOT MESSES....] I don't think there's a world in which you wouldn't be able to get any? You shouldn't have to worry about that.
[FAIR ENOUGH, she'll probably order another sooner or later anyways...... RIP livers.]
—Yeah, you're right. [THE COCKINESS IS ASTOUNDING. It wasn't exactly what she was thinking about, but it's funnier and she likes it better anyways.] Like, shit, can you imagine me not? Can you imagine you not? If being hot messes has gotten us this far, I guess it won't fail us on that anytime soon.
[YES IT IS because Rose orders two tequila shots for them on top of that.
i'm so sorry............]
I might as well, right? What's that one saying? "At least life still wants to fuck me"? [Rose, that is not a real saying.] But honestly, that's a 50/50. Either it'll make the rest of April a damn good time, or I'll be doing twice the work I thought I would for only half a month.
[Her expectations of sexual partners are so low, and yet. AND YET.]
Isn't wishing the whole point of toasts? What else are people doing at weddings, hoping the married couple stays happy forever but secretly hoping they divorce in a month? [JEEZ ROSE NOT EVERYONE'S JADED LIKE YOU but also, y'know. She's drunk.] Wishes or not though, I'll toast to that.
This whole city's a bad soap opera, I can't help it.
[SHE'S DRUNK AND MELODRAMATIC OKAY, LET HER LIVE!! But with that, BOTTOMS UP. She definitely slams her shot glass back down on the counter too hard, but nothing breaks so it's fine right???? Right.]
Shit though, I forgot you're even taken. Am I supposed to ask how that's going? [TRULY, THIS IS WHAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP CONSISTS OF, ASKING IF NORMAL NICETIES ARE APPROPRIATE.]
[SHE'S SO DRUNK AND MELODRAMATIC and baren just thinks it's fucking hilarious. the alcohol is going to catch up to him. absolutely. no doubt. baren's just going to snort though and doesn't hesitate to ask - ] Did you remember because I mentioned finding a good lay? Ro, I'm touched.
[shut the fuck up please
he barely remembers to push the glasses aside before they fucking break them]
You can if you wanna, the answer is 'pretty good'.
[he's never talked about his relationships with ro before but... well. he never talks about his relationships period so that might be way]
You did say you can't do anything for me aside from body shots after all.
[THAT WAS THE REMINDER, ROSE? REALLY??]
But huh. Wow. I'm surprised. [Somewhere deep down past the drunkenness, she's probably ???? happy for him??? But also he's a hot flaming dumpster fire, who on earth would actually put up with him as a boyfriend? Crazy tbh.] I think I already said this before, but still, good for you.
[that's such a fucking good question and one that's really difficult to answer. baren is laughing even as he collects their tequila sunrises, again handing her one. his answer is... actually pretty easy, casual. he might be getting tipsy.]
It is. Better than I expected, honestly. Dating's pretty fucking overrated but - I'm still having fun with him, so.
[it's different.
he drinks before he says more than that.
this will backfire as the drink will probably make him say more later.
but as if he recognized he was being too sappy he switches right back over - ]
And relationships are an easy way to guaranteed you can even get laid on like, Tuesdays? I dunno Ro, I think I'm onto something here.
[The bartender's probably eying Rose as she takes her tequila sunrise like please don't throw up on my counter. It's a dangerous life she's living.
But wOW YEAH THAT WAS GETTING SAPPY. (It was normal you two, why are you like this.) She even snorts a laugh into her drink before he switches tones.]
What, and have to put up with talking about—feelings and shit? The "how are you"'s and "how was your day today"'s? Gimme a break. [Given that she can barely do that much with some of her sisters despite how much she loves them, it's probably not a surprise she'd hate the idea of it with someone she doesn't know well.] But if you're having fun with him still, I guess one of you's doing something right. Probably him.
JESUS, BAREN, MAYBE THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD TRY A LITTLE HARDER]
Eh, but if all you do is talk about feelings and the dumb mundane stuff, that means you're probably in a really shitty relationship? Or maybe you're like, fucking 40 years old and have kids so you can't travel or skydive anymore or something. [WHY ARE THOSE THE TWO OPTIONS]
I never thought you'd be the type to have boring normal people relationships, Ro.... That's kinda sad....
Fuck, is there a place to skydive here? [IN HER ALCOHOL-RIDDEN MIND, THAT SOUNDS APPEALING. But right, they're actually talking about something here, give her a sec.]
Jeez, don't sound so pitying about it. Rest assured I don't have boring normal people relationships. [The amount of FWB people she can call on probably attest to that.....] I just haven't actually dated in years.
[She's gone on dates, sure, but anything long-term just hasn't worked out. At the end of the day, she's not the type for commitment, probably to everyone's benefit. (She might've also been scared out of commitment once upon a time when a good relationship ended in disaster, BUT WHO NEEDS THE DETAILS RIGHT.)]
[ - is all he'll say about the skydiving thing because did you know that if you date a gravity manipulator then they can toss you off buildings and then catch you for free?? why is baren's relationship Like That.
but baren just hums at that, because he gets that??? yeah. definitely.]
Maybe you'll find someone fun enough to date if that's a thing you want. I think it'd be funny to watch 'em go through the gauntlet with your sisters too.
[Wow Baren, not everyone has a free hookup to pseudo-skydiving like you!! She's making plans to look this up later, but honestly she probably won't even remember come morning.........]
Christ, my sisters are the last people I'd tell about who I'm dating. They can think I'm just fucking around for the rest of time for all I care. [Because that's clearly better than them knowing about her serious relationships??]
She'd probably have a heart attack. Can you imagine the interrogation she'd give me to know everything about them?
[She's not even dating anyone, and she still feels bad for the hypothetical person who'd have to put up with Clover's grilling.
But also I'm just gonna say this is at a point in the month before she has her forced heart-to-heart with Clover, so this also just kind of makes her sad to think about. Maybe her hypothetical partner wouldn't have to put up with getting grilled if her little sister keeps up this no talking streak.
Of course, instead of saying any of that like a healthy functioning person, she just starts chugging her tequila sunrise. #NORMAL]
[ - look, if there's anything he knows about, it's probably the overprotectiveness of siblings and the lack of boundaries.
But while Rose starts chugging her drink, Baren is just going to start sipping his. Casually. He watches her and tries to come up with a mental estimate of how long before she'll probably fall over on the floor. It's like handling a ticking time bomb.]
Not to get your hopes up or anything, but you should let me treat you to a hotel for the night.
[She's probably never even met his sister, but just imagining her grilling Baren is a funny image. If she wasn't trying to maintain (and increase) her blood toxicity, she'd laugh harder too. Sadly, she's pretty sure the movement would upset her stomach enough into throwing up.......]
It's fine. I haven't died yet. [??? THAT'S YOUR REASONING, ROSE???]
[She likewise finishes the rest of her drink, and with a sense of grace and balance that frankly shouldn't be possible for her at this point, places her hand on his arm like gentle, proper lady.
Except she knows exactly how fake this is for both of them and can't help but laugh at that.]
[they're a bunch of fucking liars but they're good for each other that way - which is why baren laughs too. he'll tell whoever's manning the bar to put it on his tab, he'll pick it up later.
and off to a hotel they go. baren probably pays for some absurdly nice room even though he himself will not be staying the night for once, and there is the absolute knowledge that they're gonna crack into whatever alcohol is provided]
I guess this is the time to see if dating a bartender has taught me anything.
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That's so much liquor oh god, he normally doesn't do drunk in public but here he is. Though at that, he laughs, because Baren's sense of humor is fucking shit and - ]
Hey, it's worked out decently for both of us so far. [BEING HOT MESSES....] I don't think there's a world in which you wouldn't be able to get any? You shouldn't have to worry about that.
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—Yeah, you're right. [THE COCKINESS IS ASTOUNDING. It wasn't exactly what she was thinking about, but it's funnier and she likes it better anyways.] Like, shit, can you imagine me not? Can you imagine you not? If being hot messes has gotten us this far, I guess it won't fail us on that anytime soon.
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no it isn't]
That's the spirit. Why don't you just go and fuck around for the rest of April if the rest of it isn't treating you well?
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i'm so sorry............]
I might as well, right? What's that one saying? "At least life still wants to fuck me"? [Rose, that is not a real saying.] But honestly, that's a 50/50. Either it'll make the rest of April a damn good time, or I'll be doing twice the work I thought I would for only half a month.
[Her expectations of sexual partners are so low, and yet. AND YET.]
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baren's going to crack up, taking their tequila shots and handing one to rose]
Sorry, gorgeous, the most I can offer is body shots or I'll get in trouble.
[baren you fuckhead you might still get in trouble for that]
Do you think toasts can work like wishes? Can we toast to your sex life improving for the rest of April?
[he's probably not even fucking tipsy yet, he's just Like This]
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[WHY WEDDINGS!!!! BAREN DOESN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT WEDDINGS,]
Then yeah, yeah, toast to you having an easy time getting a good lay.
[this is what their friendship consists of, why is that,,]
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[SHE'S DRUNK AND MELODRAMATIC OKAY, LET HER LIVE!! But with that, BOTTOMS UP. She definitely slams her shot glass back down on the counter too hard, but nothing breaks so it's fine right???? Right.]
Shit though, I forgot you're even taken. Am I supposed to ask how that's going? [TRULY, THIS IS WHAT THEIR FRIENDSHIP CONSISTS OF, ASKING IF NORMAL NICETIES ARE APPROPRIATE.]
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[shut the fuck up please
he barely remembers to push the glasses aside before they fucking break them]
You can if you wanna, the answer is 'pretty good'.
[he's never talked about his relationships with ro before but... well. he never talks about his relationships period so that might be way]
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[THAT WAS THE REMINDER, ROSE? REALLY??]
But huh. Wow. I'm surprised. [Somewhere deep down past the drunkenness, she's probably ???? happy for him??? But also he's a hot flaming dumpster fire, who on earth would actually put up with him as a boyfriend? Crazy tbh.] I think I already said this before, but still, good for you.
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It is. Better than I expected, honestly. Dating's pretty fucking overrated but - I'm still having fun with him, so.
[it's different.
he drinks before he says more than that.
this will backfire as the drink will probably make him say more later.
but as if he recognized he was being too sappy he switches right back over - ]
And relationships are an easy way to guaranteed you can even get laid on like, Tuesdays? I dunno Ro, I think I'm onto something here.
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But wOW YEAH THAT WAS GETTING SAPPY. (It was normal you two, why are you like this.) She even snorts a laugh into her drink before he switches tones.]
What, and have to put up with talking about—feelings and shit? The "how are you"'s and "how was your day today"'s? Gimme a break. [Given that she can barely do that much with some of her sisters despite how much she loves them, it's probably not a surprise she'd hate the idea of it with someone she doesn't know well.] But if you're having fun with him still, I guess one of you's doing something right. Probably him.
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[THE EASY AGREEMENT
JESUS, BAREN, MAYBE THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD TRY A LITTLE HARDER]
Eh, but if all you do is talk about feelings and the dumb mundane stuff, that means you're probably in a really shitty relationship? Or maybe you're like, fucking 40 years old and have kids so you can't travel or skydive anymore or something. [WHY ARE THOSE THE TWO OPTIONS]
I never thought you'd be the type to have boring normal people relationships, Ro.... That's kinda sad....
[for fuck's sake]
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Jeez, don't sound so pitying about it. Rest assured I don't have boring normal people relationships. [The amount of FWB people she can call on probably attest to that.....] I just haven't actually dated in years.
[She's gone on dates, sure, but anything long-term just hasn't worked out. At the end of the day, she's not the type for commitment, probably to everyone's benefit. (She might've also been scared out of commitment once upon a time when a good relationship ended in disaster, BUT WHO NEEDS THE DETAILS RIGHT.)]
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[ - is all he'll say about the skydiving thing because did you know that if you date a gravity manipulator then they can toss you off buildings and then catch you for free?? why is baren's relationship Like That.
but baren just hums at that, because he gets that??? yeah. definitely.]
Maybe you'll find someone fun enough to date if that's a thing you want. I think it'd be funny to watch 'em go through the gauntlet with your sisters too.
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Christ, my sisters are the last people I'd tell about who I'm dating. They can think I'm just fucking around for the rest of time for all I care. [Because that's clearly better than them knowing about her serious relationships??]
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[if baren didn't tell okuni who he was dating oh god he'd get his ass kicked forever]
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[She's not even dating anyone, and she still feels bad for the hypothetical person who'd have to put up with Clover's grilling.
But also I'm just gonna say this is at a point in the month before she has her forced heart-to-heart with Clover, so this also just kind of makes her sad to think about. Maybe her hypothetical partner wouldn't have to put up with getting grilled if her little sister keeps up this no talking streak.
Of course, instead of saying any of that like a healthy functioning person, she just starts chugging her tequila sunrise. #NORMAL]
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[ - look, if there's anything he knows about, it's probably the overprotectiveness of siblings and the lack of boundaries.
But while Rose starts chugging her drink, Baren is just going to start sipping his. Casually. He watches her and tries to come up with a mental estimate of how long before she'll probably fall over on the floor. It's like handling a ticking time bomb.]
Not to get your hopes up or anything, but you should let me treat you to a hotel for the night.
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[She's probably never even met his sister, but just imagining her grilling Baren is a funny image. If she wasn't trying to maintain (and increase) her blood toxicity, she'd laugh harder too. Sadly, she's pretty sure the movement would upset her stomach enough into throwing up.......]
It's fine. I haven't died yet. [??? THAT'S YOUR REASONING, ROSE???]
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[look he's okay with rose picking fights and all but he just wants to drink????]
We could raid a minifridge or something.
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I'm in as long as you're paying. [What can she say, she's easy!]
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[but he'll finish off the rest of his drink and then move to stand, offering an arm out to her like a proper gentleman]
Let's get out of here then.
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Except she knows exactly how fake this is for both of them and can't help but laugh at that.]
Lead the way.
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and off to a hotel they go. baren probably pays for some absurdly nice room even though he himself will not be staying the night for once, and there is the absolute knowledge that they're gonna crack into whatever alcohol is provided]
I guess this is the time to see if dating a bartender has taught me anything.
[it might've??????]
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